life as a primary school teacher

God has a sense of humor.

when i was in primary school, and even in secondary school. i was very certain i didn't want to be a teacher. looking at my mother's unhappiness [not so much with teaching, but with the system she was under], i was pretty sure i didn't want to follow her footsteps.

however, when i entered JC, i met this teacher who really changed my perspective. in a lot of ways, i think i'm quite similar to him, and i guess that's why he became sort of a role model for me. you know how the greatest compliment to someone is if someone else yearns to be like him/her? i guess that is the best gift i can give to him, but erm, he has to figure it out by himself...maybe one day i might tell him straight out, but erm...maybe not. haa. anyway, he is really someone i respected as an outdoor leader and a teacher. he may have scolded the shit out of me/us, and even though some of the incidences were blown out of proportion, i did learn a lot from the man. in the short 2 years that i worked closely under him, my confidence in my outdoor leadership was at its highest...and in the dumps too. i remember how it took me a few years to slowly gain my confidence again, it affected me so much that i became so guilty, i just broke away from my entire batch. thankfully, a few of them didn't let go of me, and we still remain pretty close to this day.

in any case, while waiting to enter NS, i had 3 months to spare, and i went to my Alma mater to teach. but frankly, i didn't really enjoy it there. i had a grand total of 1 friend, this girl was my childhood friend and her mum's also a teacher in the school and she was employed as a librarian during that period. school was simply going into class, disciplining the kids, scolding them, giving them classwork, going through answers, sneaking ot the library to hang out with JB and then zoom back home or out as soon as the 1.15pm bell rings. it was such a stressful period that in the space of 3 months, i actually fell sick trice - and not just a simple cold etc, it was high fever. gosh.

and then i took a 4 year hiatus because of uni and BC. back a full circle and now i'm in another primary school. but the entire experience has really changed me. 30th july was supposed to be my last official day of school, and i was seriously depressed and emotional the entire week. i spent my breaks and lunch time in the bistro or walking around school, just to catch a glimpse of this child or that kid. if they greeted me, or smiled at me, it was enough to make my day. i think because at the end of the day, kids are really simple, they show their love and their acceptance of you in really straightforward ways...and its just so genuine. if i could, i would just hug them and kiss them! but sigh, i have to be professional and just too darn bad i'm not a female teacher. why is it that guys have to watch themselves and girls don't have to!!! [ok, don't reply, i know the answer too, but its just not fair!]

on a happier note, i had 2 surprises today. one of the girls from 1-9 is leaving for china next week, and her form teacher had a mini farewell for her. she gave out presents to her classmates and the class watched a video of her in a talent competition. it was just so heartwarming to see her really enjoying herself up on stage. it was just amazing. anyway, she came to me and gave me a beautifully wrapped present. i was so surprised i didn't say much except thank you. initially, i thought it was a generic present meant for her teachers, and i felt really bad, cox it might have been prepared for some other teachers and she gave it to me because i happened to be doing class observation. however, the form teacher later told me that she actually planned to give me a present! so sweet of her! *melts* anyway, p-ying, i hope you enjoy yourself thoroughly when you are in china, and i pray that you will find joy and satisfaction in all that you do! pursue what you love, and not what others tell you to love. its your life, enjoy every moment without regret. and of course, i pray that in your life, you will meet your true love, Jesus Christ. All in all, i wish i could have spent more time with you and your class, getting to know you all better. i apologize that so much of my attention is always given to the 4 boys + 2 girls in your class that i neglected you [and some other students]. take care and god bless, may he hold you in his arms forever...

the other surprise came after school, when another colleague came up with this boy from 1-1. apparently he prepared national day presents for his classmates and some of the teachers. and yes, he prepared one specially for me too! w-leng is such a sweet boy. he is always coming up to me just to greet me..and he gave me a drawing before too when i took his class. anyway, the biggest surprise was when he actually remembered and took to heart about what i said last term. i can't remember the circumstances in which i said it, but i told him to call me gan die [god father]. and so...his mum knows about it. i feel so guilty! lesson learnt: what one says to a child may be in jest, but it means so much so much to him/her. but i don't really know what to do from here on...should i acknowledge him? but i don't want to give him special attention outrightly! but if i don't do something, it seems like i'm neglecting him too? grrr...

anyway, my dear god-son, i don't know why but u are always falling sick. having tummy aches all so frequently. i pray that our heavenly father will keep you safe and free of illnesses. please eat well, and grow up healthily. and i'll see ya in school!

so what is life as a primary school teacher like? simply amzing. yes the kids can anger you, but they can surprise you so often, they can turn your anger into a smile with a simple innocent question or a remark.

once when i was fuming mad at 4-1, i apologized to 4-2 for being in such a bad mood. i explained to them why i was in such a bad mood and that i would try to calm down and treat them normally...and this boy shouted out, "Mr Lin, i'm the class clown and i'll cheer you up!". class joker, but it made me smile really really widely.

never will i forget that sarcasm doens't work on p1s...after telling a boy off for interrupting me [he ended up tearing...ooops], i asked the class if anyone else wanted to tell their story...and up came a girl's hand. "Yes, Y**a?" "Mr Lin, I went swimming in Singapore Poly with my daddy and i wore a mask..." [FYI, i was sharing with them some diving photos and was explaining what diving was about when the boy interrupted me repeatedly with some smart alec comments]. so you see, they really are such innocent angels sometimes.

sigh. think i'll end off her. getting quite emotional. miss them so much already....will update more often. think i'll really want to keep these memories of the children with me....now, if only i can get some photos of them! haa. gosh, i sound like some sick pervert. wahhaah